Issue of September 16, 2018
     
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Different religions and breaking up

Dear Manang,

My relationship is getting serious. I met him at a mall in Manila while waiting for my friend. We exchanged cellphone numbers and I just thought that messages were safe enough to build a relationship. My work brings me to Manila at least twice a month and his work brings him to Baguio at least twice a month too. After a year and almost 50 dates, I am met with a dilemma to choose religions. I am Catholic and he is Methodist. He has insinuated that I must convert. What do I do? -- Promise, Tecson Street, Baguio City

Dear Promise,

What a lovely name you have! When your name is called it is a commitment. Religion is a serious element of life. It is one’s faith and belief in practice. Well, if both of you respect each other, both would accommodate each other by going to both churches. However, that can be a struggle. If you ask me, I am really no expert, I find no problem in becoming a Methodist. The same God is praised and prayed to. It is the rites that vary. When you begin to raise children, then the practices will matter but only to you. You are key and lock to your issue.

Make a promise,

Manang

Dear Manang,

How do I know if it is time to break up? My boyfriend and I argue about the same thing all the time, not answering messages and calls. It seems that after five years, our relationship is not exciting anymore. We are not doing things together like we used to. There is no more laughter. I think it is time. -- Che, Magnolia Street, Baguio City

Dear Che,

You are unhappy and see all the wrong things about your relationship. This is a sign of doom. Who nags about messages and calls? Have both of you rooted the cause? Is it distrust or jealousy? Trust is the core of a relationship. When trust shakes it and is left unresolved, give the key back. Losing trust and respect for each other is a sure sign. When you seek sparks, step back and ask if you have put an effort in making a meal exciting or surprised your partner lately. Or are you making excuses not to eat out or trying to distract him from his basketball game? No more humor? Could it be you don’t speak to each other when you are home? You make efforts at finding things to talk about. In the end, what you listed are not signs of a break up but more needs for a makeup. We look and search outside but not inside. Kiss more and hug more, breaking up is a sorry excuse for your sins of neglect.

Introspect first,

Manang

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