Issue of August 12, 2018

Panagbenga Flower Festival
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Vagina federalism?

Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque and Presidential Special Assistant (and selfie expert) Bong Go, who want to be senators, joined the “Hugpong ng Pagbabago,” the political party of presidential daughter and Davao Mayor Sarah Duterte, because Roque claims that it is really the party of the President.

If it is true that Hugpong is really the party of Duterte, then a political butterfly season would soon be upon us. Opportunists and turncoats would again stumble over each other jumping or flying to Hugpong.

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The campaign for federalism has begun. You better start learning and practicing the Mocha dance and jingle.

The lyrics are: “I-pepe, i-pepe, i-dede, i-dede, ipepe-pepe-pepederalismo!”

Pepe” is a Filipino slang for vagina. And “dede” refers to the breast.

In that case “Pepederalismo” must mean “vagina federalism.”

As you sing and dance, when you say “i-pepe” you should touch your crotch. And when you say “i-dede” you touch your breasts.

This promises to be a very intellectually stimulating and profound campaign.

Mocha will have a great time teaching Sen. Nene Pimentel, Justice Renato Puno, Fr. Rannie Aquino, and all the federalism proponents how to dance the “i-pepe, i-dede.”

This we have to see! Dayta ah! Ok go!

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Anti-federalism sectors should welcome the entry of Mocha into the campaign. Perhaps she is on your side. Otherwise, why are all the senators and consultative commission members complaining about her?

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The good news.

The Benguet Electric Cooperative is set to venture into providing its customers with “reliable Internet connection.” We all look forward to better Internet surfing days. Beneco subscribers may not mind paying an additional P200 to P350 as long as the service is good.

The additional good news is that the other telcos may be forced to improve their services if Beneco gives them a run for their money. There is nothing like healthy competition to provoke an improvement.

The bad news.

There will be bad news only if the Internet service that Beneco will provide, will be the same bad service as that of the other telcos.

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Remember Janet Napoles of the multi-billion pork barrel scam cases that even involved Juan Ponce-Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada, and Bong Revilla? That was many years ago and they have not yet been decided by our courts.

The U.S. has sought the extradition of Napoles and members of her family so that they can be tried before courts in America for money laundering (conspiracy to commit money laundering, domestic money laundering, and international money laundering).

We should not approve the extradition bid of the U.S. No way!

Why? Because we are sure the U.S. courts will finish the cases earlier than Philippine courts, where the Napoles cases have been pending since forever.

The Philippines will suffer badly from the comparison. It will be a bad reflection on our judicial system. It will show that our courts have a speed limit. They are not allowed to move faster than a turtle.

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Poor Deputy Ombudsman Melchor Arthur Carandang. He told media about an inquiry into the alleged ill-gotten wealth of Duterte and his family. He has been dismissed from his job by Malacañang, and his retirement benefits forfeited.

The lesson here: Prosecutors should not talk to media about the cases they are investigating. And better still never ever investigate Duterte and his family.

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