July 14, 2024

Dear Manang,
I am recently separated from my husband and the annulment of the marriage is ongoing. I am not employed yet because my youngest daughter still needs to be cared for and I am not a graduate and will be relegated to a menial position if I get work. My son is about to graduate from college and I am glad that I have sisters helping me out with his expenses. The allowance sent by my husband is not enough for my other children’s expenses. I found out that my son has been asking money from my sisters and mother. He has received double allowances while he promised in the beginning that his allowance will be given alternately each week by his aunts. What do I do? He is in the Visayas and I worry about him too being far away.
Mellie of Brookside, Baguio City

Dear Mellie,
The first thing you must check out is if he is drinking alcohol or taking drugs. There are ways of checking up on those activities. If there are signs of those activities, you must bring him home. Chances are, he will not graduate if he is seriously addicted. Apart from this, a little reminder is in order. I am sure your sisters and mother will not be too stingy. He must remember that they are giving him some comfort instead of him needing to starve himself. Check up on him.
Be circumspect,

Dear Manang,
My father is caring only for himself and I am paying for his apartment and giving him an allowance of P10,000 monthly. He has not seen his blessings yet, he is getting more than pensioners are getting but wants more. I don’t know what he is spending his money on when he only smokes a lot. I’m getting older and I’m not sure if I will always have a job. How do I make him see his good fortune?
Mar of Liteng, Baguio City

Dear Mar,
Maybe your father gambles online? But usually if they gamble, there are more telltale signs. It sounds like your father never worked, otherwise he would be more conscientious about spending if he knows it is painstaking to make it. Being firm is not a sin, you should tell him that you are maxed out. Be careful when you speak to him, he might become even more demanding.
Tread easy,