March 27, 2023

Dear Manang,
I have survived a year since my husband died. I suddenly realized the freedom I enjoyed for 12 months made the 40 years together more pleasant. The harsh and mean last moments together that I bore turned into more understanding of the pain that he felt and that I felt when he kicked me because I had touched a tender part of his leg or body. All the harsh words are now softened by the moments when he was sweeter in the earlier years. I wish that these feelings were what I felt so that I could have been more caring and understanding.
Lita of Liteng, Pacdal, Baguio City

Dear Lita,
I am happy for your newfound freedom. Yes, it is time for you to savor the independence from the caregiving in the last years and the harsh exchange. I am happy that you bear no bitterness for the time spent with him. This is how we come to terms with our life and its ups and downs. Enjoy every moment that you have left. This is God’s gift for life to be sweet.
Enjoy yourself,

Dear Manang,
What do you do when an annulled philandering ex-husband is visiting frequently? There are hints that he has nowhere to go and wants to be with his growing children. I am not comfortable with this because I am already retired and my pension is saved for the last tuition of our youngest son. I struggled to send my kids to school without his assistance. This resurrection is not in my dreams. Help.
Diane of Camp 8, Baguio City

Dear Diane,
There is nothing less kind than to send the message straight and simply. I am sensing that your children do not miss him as well because they must be aware of his absent financial contribution to their upkeep. Infidelity is expensive to the legitimate family. Ergo, tell him in a firm but gentle voice that you have no bedspace available. I am sure that your children will help you in their own little way to send the painful eviction.
Say it clearly,