March 27, 2023

Dear Manang,
Can I control my anger? I feel like I have been mocked by people around me. I suddenly feel like I was abandoned even if I know I have not done anything wrong to them. And this is all because of a rumor. One person spread the rumor that I stole money from her. Everyone believed her but I felt that she might find it and correct her gossip, but it never changed. It’s been five years. I am angry that people believed her. I have never taken anything from anyone in my life. People around me should be better judges of my character but I suppose I was wrong. I have kept to myself and this quarantine has helped as the best excuse. I need to redeem my pride and reputation. I want to get my revenge by gossiping about them too and revealing all their secrets. I am just too angry.
Elisa of Marcoville, Baguio City

Dear Elisa,
Anger is one of the seven deadly sins. The Bible speaks about wrath in Romans 12:19, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” As you say, you have not done what they accuse you of. I would rather think that God has better plans for you and them too. Of all Christian teachings, patience seems to be the most elusive virtue to imbibe. We want instant gratification all the time. Prayers should be your best medicine. Let time pass. Five years isn’t enough, maybe God needs another five for your vengeance. Enjoy your peace even if you’re by your lonesome.
Have peace,

Dear Manang,
Shall I lend a friend a copy of my title to my property? She asked me twice already and I am not sure if I should value her friendship enough to trust her. I don’t see why she needs so much money when she has a business of her own. She doesn’t seem to have vices like gambling. She drinks but she doesn’t smoke or do drugs. She even has a rich boyfriend. I live a quiet life and I am content with what I have. I don’t think I must risk my inheritance for her. Am I being too greedy?
Jojo of Alphaville, Baguio City

Dear Jojo,
I don’t think greedy is the right term. It is selfish. Your situation calls for a time to be just that. My dear, who in heaven’s name, lends a copy of their land title to a friend? Precious friendships end when money comes between them. If a friendship was so threatened, it might not mean much. I would have just tried to help her find legitimate sources to borrow from if what she needed was money for some sound contract. But a title at the spur of the moment is some fishy deal. You don’t even need to ask my advice. You would be stupid to agree. Sorry, I know people resent that term. I know you aren’t that.
Be circumspect,