July 21, 2024

Dear Manang,
I am glad that my husband filed the annulment proceedings in court to end the hell between us. There is a word that it will just take a few months to get it over and done with. But what I don’t understand is why it is I who is the bad guy in the petition when he was the cause of the whole shebang? My mother said that I should turn a blind eye if I want it over with. I am still perplexed with the system. Why too many lies are needed by the court to grant it? Now I have to live with the lie that I caused this marriage to end. Is there another way to save my dignity?
Terry of Marcos Highway, Baguio City

Dear Terry,
Our system works in a funny way. Blame it on our lack of scruples. There’s always a bad guy and because he is filing it, it has to be you. I wonder if it is possible for the wrongdoer to admit to the court that the marriage has to end because he is womanizing and beating up his wife in jealous rage over nothing. Then immediate relief should be given to the wife and children for the hurt caused. There should be no more hesitation for the court to grant the petition. But that’s the system; a person is innocent until proven without doubt to have done it. Well, that’s the compromise that you don’t contest his petition in order to get the annulment. We have the same easy way out by saying, let it be.
I pray for you,
Manang

Dear Manang,
I am scared to get married to my partner of seven years. I asked that he become independent and we build our house before marriage because we still live with his parents. We have two children and I have my own income. Am I wrong to give him the condition before the marriage?
Zita of Guisad Surong, Baguio City

Dear Zita,
What man doesn’t want a challenge to prove his love for you? But what man would not delight in delaying responsibility for a family? I hope his love and intentions are true. I hope he is not just another infidel enjoying his life but I pray you are not suffering from the women he spends his time with. If that’s the case I beg you to reconsider the condition you stated because you may age through the wait. Would you rather change your mind and go your way? You are not being generous, you are being downright stupid. Sorry for being frank.
I pray more for you,
Manang