November 30, 2023

In the Cordillera region, if you are a lady and you are more than 25 years old, yet you are not in a relationship, people see you already as a spinster or baak. Now and then, you will receive advice and comments about your status. Elders will pressure you to find someone to marry as soon as possible. Here and there, people will try to connect you to someone you can date with. Being one of the subjects, I find it fun to play along with the jokes, but at the same time, there is an utmost desire in my heart to explain the different causes why we choose to stay single even if we are at the right age to tie the knot.

From financial concerns to individual issues or personal beliefs, there are a lot of reasons why one may prefer to set aside romantic relationships. I know someone who has a stable job and enough savings to start a family, however still prefers to stay single because of her commitment to her profession. Another friend who calls herself hopeless romantic is silently praying to meet her Prince Charming, but with all the places she tried to search, her heart remained uncaptured. She’d rather focus on improving herself while waiting for that destined time when she will meet “the one,” than forcing a relationship to sprout out of desperation to have one.

Some people remain single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. For some, they are undergoing a certain circumstance that affects their decision to stay away from commitment.

It’s indeed flattering to have friends and relatives who are concerned about our future and constantly remind us about the importance of having a better-half and a family who will be our lifetime support and companion. The inconvenient truth, however, is the common proposition that single people who are almost or over the age of 30 should not be too picky in choosing partners because they’ve already reached the desperate age of marrying.

People must learn to understand that marriage is not a race and there is no reason to get intimidated just because of age. After all, the church and the constitution did not indicate any age limit for matrimony. It’s about time that society must realize that norms change along with the rapid advancement of the world in all aspects concerned.

A woman at the age of 30 can still prioritize her career and a 40-year old man can still be in search of the woman of his life. We all have our different timelines. It will be very unfair and inconsiderate to evaluate someone else’s fulfillment based on traditional standards. Achieving intimacy is a brave battle, but it is one well, worth fighting for, each and every day, both within ourselves, ultimately, within our relationships. (KATHLEEN K. PADSINGAN)

Now therefore single ladies and gentlemen, raise your hands and never let the stereotypes of society decide for your standard and decisions in life.