March 28, 2023

It is a rainy and cold Sunday morning, and a daughter cuddles up to her old man, “Dad, did you watch the Miss Philippines Universe 2020 beauty pageant the other Sunday?”
“Ako pa,” her father retorts, “It’s been years since your mom died, so I have gone back to ogling the girls, refreshing macho fantasies before I ride off into the sunset. It’s how I keep my sanity, sweetheart.”
“Dad,” the daughter laughs, “For a lawyer, your response is off the mark. Did you or did you not view the pageant on the small screen?”
“They say the country club, where the pageant was held, was off limits to curious spectators and DOMs like you due to health restrictions.”

So, we were told, but even on TV, the contestants appeared to be quite beautiful, and I was amazed by the answers of the five finalists, considering how difficult and tricky the answers were.
I almost suspect they were fed the questions beforehand, to give them more than enough time to prepare their answers, no hesitation on their part, no groping for the right words to say.

It seems we have reached a point where, in the language of Donald Trump, “everything is being rigged.”
It pretty much made for a jolly, good show though, to impress television viewers that our current crop of beauties are brainy, smart, and sassy.
Your mom, if she were still alive, wouldn’t have bought it.
I, myself, have misgivings.

“Dad, educate me more, what else can you say about the contestants, and well, girls in general.”
“Well princess, in today’s modern times there are all kinds of beautiful.
“The first are the beautiful who ignore the other beauties, falsely believing she is the prettiest of the lot, with no one coming close. Then, there’s the beautiful ambitious, hoping to hook a rich and generous lover, who would provide for all her needs, a girl with expensive taste. Another kind of beautiful hopes to make it big in showbiz if she gets to the finals, and quite thankfully, there are the beautiful of both body and soul, a person with a good heart, something alas, that the judges often miss, given their straying eyes.”

“Okay dad, but tell me, if you were one of the judges, what would you be looking for?
“Demeanor, princess, demeanor. How well does she carry herself when gliding across the stage – naughty, provocative, fashionable, or trying too hard because there’s nothing behind the pretty face, reserving her best smile for a judge whose hands are hidden beneath the table, or otherwise surveying the field, looking for a judge who is giving her the evil eye.”

“C’mon dad, not all girls are cheap, but I agree with you that their motives sometimes border on the ulterior.
“But again, if you were one of the judges, what questions would you ask?”
“Tell me what your dreams are,” I would query.
“If she invokes love of country and a bleeding heart for the poor and needy, I will scratch her off my list for being insincere.
But if she says her wish is to one day become a wife and mother, she gets my vote.
Others who may or may not get my nod are those seeking fame and fortune. Or needing to get into politics so she can expose the men for doing things all wrong.”

“Daughter love, do you know why the women are always a step or two ahead of the men? It is because the men think they are so far ahead, completely forgetting that the turtle won the race over the rabbit – ever patient, never giving up, at least not until the fat lady sings.
Now if you are a man, you must think like a woman, and if you are a woman, never think like a man.”
The story of Adam and Eve is never ending, and hey, in case you do not know it yet, Lucifer was a transvestite – an angel who decided to become a man, and that’s when she fell from grace. Too bad she nearly had it all.

Next Tuesday, Joe Biden will be elected president of the United States, but he will have to wait for some time before he can get to the White House.
Trump will never concede defeat, and will exhaust all remedies to remain in power – run to the Supreme Court to seek legal relief, or harness the military to keep the winners at bay, or simply stay put in the White House.
Either way, it could spark a civil war – between the Trump loyalists and those who want him out pronto.
Hitler is a sissy compared to what Trump will do to the United States and the free world – a doomsday scenario, it will be.

Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque, coming to the defense of DPWH Sec. Mark Villar, says that Mark’s family has more money than his own department.
A non-sequitur, as the lawyers (and logic professors) would say.
Anyway, it is nothing new. Didn’t someone say before that the rich do not steal – which begs the question, how in hell did they become rich in the first place?
This is similar to what a big Davao businessman, by way of refuting rape charges brought against him, foolishly bragged ala Trump, “Playboys do not rape.”
At least it wasn’t Imelda but another queen who said, “Let them eat cake.”
Or like my professora in taxation fumed when I tried to compliment her on what I thought was “Blue Grass” perfume – “That’s cheap perfume, I do not wear cheap perfume.”

The next day I threw out my still half-filled bottles of Brut and Old Spice.
Hey, did you know that a bottle of men’s cologne is more expensive than a bottle of imported Scotch?

No obits today, out of respect for all but all for the dearly departed, and in view of the forthcoming Undas.

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