December 7, 2023

I view this world in a very peculiar way. I do not see through my eyes. I want to think that I see through a camera lens and everything surrounding me awaits for a story to happen. I am the filmmaker of my own life and I am in control of what I desire to happen. I am a product of cinema.
It all started when I was four, curious of what the world is waiting for me to unravel, films that are destined for my eyes to catch sooner. Afraid of failing, still, I do the most risk taking actions that a boy my age could ever do, even if he is asleep. Even way back then, I was in it for the thrill; the adrenaline when you do something stupid, a boy who was into action heroes and decides to act like one. A boy captivated by cinema.
As the boy grows, he quickly tasted every sweet dessert that cinema can offer. The boy was not only growing up fast, his passion to taste more sweets from cinema was growing as well.
Inch by inch this boy is growing, detached from reality, detached from his troubled family, and this scares him a lot. Because he would rather believe that his father was possessed by something evil leading him to hurt his family. Lacking parental guidance, this boy longs for a warm hug that he knows he will never get, he turns to a flat screen and wipes his tears away as he watches a clown fish on a mission to find his missing son, he smiled.
He is now a teenager. This is where he feels the most confused; and this is also the era of drama.
He recently discovered his tastes, although very extensive. He is still picky. He loves films about drama, crime drama to be exact. He finds it fascinating to see actors like Robert De Niro or Leonardo DiCaprio portraying bad and broken men and as the great impressionist he is, he swore that he will one day stand among the giants like Michael Scorsese or Quentin Tarantino, so he can return the love films have given him, for cinema.
He is now, me; and I am now, him. As I write this article, as the letters slowly cave in to each other, as every sentence end my paragraphs; I stand prepositions next to the word “cinema” because I believe metaphors are just as important as facts. I assume I and the cinema have the opposite of temporal relations. I suppose we are meant for each other. One thing’s for sure though, the only thing you can never take away from me is my love for films, movies, motion pictures, and cinema. You can beat me up, say painful words, fail me, kill me. I can guarantee it will only be a fuel for me, a fuel for my stories, for my vision, for my art, for my passion. Even if I die, you can bet I died thinking only about cinema. (RO-EH ISRAEL A. LAYGO)