I constantly remind myself not to feel overburdened by my emotions. When I eventually realized this was a growth phase and was solely me missing the good old days, it was late. It goes in many ways and my sentiments about the encounter were inexplicable.
Out of the blue, I met a person with the power to make me feel as if I’m floating on clouds. It was a routine for us to exchange good mornings and discuss our schedules for the day. It became serious when we had the time to ourselves, be together all around, and schedule dates to spend up until the day was finally over. However, when we are already in the circle, the unspoken rule of being friends and remaining out of it makes our tongues sealed. I anticipated that things would continue to go smoothly.
But when we grew older and separately began working on our collegiate careers, it grew where we would simply remember how miserable the day would be without seeing each other. The nights would bring back all the things that had caused me to feel so pleased. But I know it’s not dead, it’s simply down there, covered by life drama and schoolwork. I termed this The One That Got Away (TOTGA).
Not until the song “Maybe this Time,” became an actuality. It is where two old friends meet again wearing older faces and talk about the places they have been. The emotions resurfaced and it drove me insane. The unspoken rule still applies and it still keeps the same feeling as back then. I thought that we might need to do something more than just reminisce but this time we would eat hot Korean noodles and then stroll around the area just like we used to do. We kept each other’s time seriously talking about what happened when we were both busy.
I could not tell anyone how this is giving me sleepless nights and butterflies in my stomach. One thing is for sure, we are friends and we are back. It became harder when we already had our minds grow where emotions are to be learned. To learn how to keep people around me and not waste long years of knowing them.
Then, with a friend’s tone of knowing it excitedly, she asked me over for a cup of iced caramel macchiato, which later became my favorite drink. I could imbibe more cups of it but as we strolled around the area, I began to think about taking chances or just ignoring my relapses. I also told a few of my colleagues in the same circle, they weren’t astonished. Some gave me clichéd advice, while others applauded me for finally getting in love.
It was daunting and left me uncertain of what to do. I went immediately home and made my bed so I could pull myself up again so I wouldn’t break. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind, no two ways about it, the other person knew what I was feeling. Eventually, was it just me thinking that there is something going on between us?
Getting back to normal days with people, I have come across the essence of controlling emotions and allowing things to happen. It is true that people come and go and I always say that to myself. I would let them come if they are worthy of bringing me peace and joy in this life.
April 25, 2024
