February 9, 2023

Dear Manang,
I am a happily single professional approaching senior years. Having more spare time of recent, social media being handy and out of curiosity, I started to “research” on my significant ex. (It was a case of right love at the wrong time. We last saw each other in the late 1990s, no communication, whatsoever, since.) He is not on social media, but I came across one of his children’s (let’s name her Mika) account. Scanning through Mika’s posts, I discovered that she has lost her mom and so my ex has become a widower. Is it okay to befriend my ex anew? How do I even go about it? Surely, I cannot just message Mika? Or do I just let it be and forget all that could have been?
Marin of DPS Compound, Baguio City

Dear Marin,
I find no moral issues that should hold you back from trying to renew friendships. It would have been different if they were still together, and you come in. There is a trend among those in their 50s to look for their first loves and find closure. I myself received messages from social media from exes who asked pointedly what happened and why we did not end up together. It is a harmless thing, if you ask me, to say hello and warm it up again. Why not just message Mika and ask how her father is doing and if it is possible to get his phone number or contact details. You can always make a reunion or gathering of old friends as the perfect excuse. Then, work from there. Nothing conclusive but a good start.
Wish you the best,
Manang

Dear Manang,
We are seniors but I still have not gotten used to my wife’s slow motion. She moves slowly on simple tasks and also in thought processes. I cannot help but nag her most of the time and this annoys me. I also tend to reprimand her even when people are around. Is there some way to bridge this? What do I do?
Ramon of Pinsao Pilot, Baguio City

Dear Ramon,
You have been with your wife forever and you still complain. In your advanced ages, there is little time left to correct her ways and if there is hope it will ever happen. My question is, why after all the years are you so suddenly piqued by her slowness? It must be your retirement that has suddenly lit the spotlight on this flaw in your wife’s character. If you ask me, I will look for all her virtues in your many years together. She must’ve showered your wonderful children with discernment. They must also have learned to be decisive in what they do since her actions are not impulsive. You have a wife that others will treasure.
Count your blessings,
Manang