March 24, 2023

Trending now on social media is an ostrich running amok in a subdivision at Teachers Village in Quezon City. With the current woes brought about by the pandemic, the sight is a big break for and a chance for the much needed laughter sorely missed nowadays. The video ends with the ostrich attempting to get out of the subdivision gates and the security guards blocking his exit by lowering down the wooden barrier while saying, “Hindi ka pwedeng dumaan dito kasi wala kang gate pass” or words to the effect. With the crisis, our people were ready for every surprise that would hit them but for some, this takes the cake.
For those who in their childhood or even teens and adulthood, remember the ostrich-sized Big Bird hanging out with the Sesame Street gang? He was an eight-foot two-inch tall bright yellow a canary who roller and ice skates, dances, swims, sings, writes poetry, draw and even ride a unicycle, a common sight during campaign periods here and there.
The ostrich is the fastest runner among any birds or other two-legged animals, sprinting at over 70 kilometers per hour, covering up to five meters in a single stride.
The escaped ostrich followed his instincts to sprint. With the virus spreading like wildfire, we too would want to run away from it all right now, but where to?
The common picture that comes into mind when an ostrich is mentioned is the goofiest birds on the planet bird who sticks his head in the sand. With its bald head, long neck, and giant scruffy feathers, it doesn’t look that special, but these facts will surprise you. The ostrich is bigger than any other bird in the world but its brain is smaller than its eye – it would hardly fill a teaspoon. Like some knuckleheads in government called Tsars, Tsaring, or their leader who recently snapped at medical frontliners accusing them of staging a revolution when they were merely begging for a timeout.
Reminds me of a story: A man walked into Luisa’s Café restaurant with a full-grown ostrich named Tsar behind him. As he sat down, the waitress came over for his order. “I’ll have a siopao, mami, and a coke.” Turning to Tsar, he asked, “Ikaw?”“I’ll have the same,” was the reply. Thereafter, he approached Nora for the bill. “P123.60 po,” said the cashier.
So, the man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and Tsar came again. Same order. Again, the man reached into his pocket and paid with exact change. This became a routine until one evening, the two entered again. “The usual?” asked the waitress. “No, it is Friday night, so I will have “Sam Look”, soyed chicken and beer,” said the man. “Same for me,” said Tsar. Then the bill. “That will be P532.21.” Once again the man pulled the exact change out of his pocket and paid. Nora couldn’t hold back her curiosity any longer.
“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”
“Well, several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” said Nora. “Most people would wish for a billion pesos or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”
“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Fortuner, the exact money is always there,” said the man.
Nora asked again, “One other thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”
The man sighed, paused, and answered, “My second wish was for a tall dumb chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.” Wish granted!
CNN reported that the big bird has been recaptured and returned to the owner who lives in the subdivision.
Under Republic Act 9147, or the law providing for the conservation and protection of wildlife resources and their habitats, he is allowed to take care of the ostrich as a pet so long as the keeper holds a Certificate of Wildlife Registration. The law says the possession of wildlife is illegal unless the person can prove “financial and technical capability and facility” to take care of the animal. So, the Department of Environment and Natural Resources presumed that since the owner lives in a subdivision, he qualifies. Medyo judgmental.
So, one can keep a lion, tiger, or a snake in his house. His neighbor though owns a giraffe as a pet and if it enters into a race with the ostrich, I am sure it would be “neck and neck” the whole way. Tsaring!