March 27, 2023

Dear Manang,

I am ready for marriage but I have two candidates for a wife. I feel uncomfortable about this because it feels like I am two-timing. It happened by accident that I met the second woman I wanted to marry when I went to New York two years ago. How can I test which one would best fit the role of spouse to a professor and academician? I am a devout Christian but one belongs to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) and the other, a Buddhist. The latter is a Chinese doctor and the former is a co-faculty member at the university. I was struck by the gentle nature of the doctor and she is a wonderful cook. My LDS girlfriend is sweet and supportive. How would I know who to marry?
Yra of Honeymoon Road, Baguio City

Dear Yra,

Marriage is such an important institution of life. For many, it is dispensable because there is divorce or annulment. Here you are deep in thought about choosing whom to marry. My suggestion would be who makes you laugh and makes you happiest. The one with a sense of humor will make life fun. When you spend more time laughing, it makes it easier to bear disappointments. Religion could be a factor too. Choose the one you feel comfortable in. The LDS are a close knit and warm community while the Buddhists are very personal. Culture would also play an important aspect. There’s no one way to test them for marriage. Actually, your emotions are the best gauge.You can’t be objective about it.
Weigh your feelings,

Dear Manang,

They say love is a chemical reaction. There’s this neighbor that makes me feel like a blender when I see him. I feel joy, excitement, and sadness all mixed up inside me that I can’t speak. When he says hello, I get shocked and shy away. I watch him behind the curtains while he attends to his garden. I guess he can feel someone staring at him because he looks up from what he’s doing and I drop to the floor to hide. He is in college and I, in 10thgrade. Is this fuzzy feeling love?
Awing of Sta. Escholastica, Baguio City

Dear Awing,
Don’t get upset if I say it’s just a crush and it will pass. You can’t even speak one word to him and you think it’s true love? My dear, that attraction will disappear when you discover he isn’t perfect. What if he has bad breath? I’m sure you will make a 180-degree turn. What if he has no wit but if indeed, he possesses all the qualities you want in a guy, then you still need his response to you. Darling, infatuation is often mistaken for love. You have to pass your teens and go to work and get his commitment before you can engrave the hearts on stone. That chemical reaction is far from love but could be turned into love if he feels the same way too. This sounds like lyrics to a song.
Stay cool and wait,