June 23, 2024

It is a fine Sunday morning, and President Vladimir Putin of Russia and Premier Xi of China are out on a stroll, following a break in the 15-nation Conference for World Peace and Unity, likewise attended by terrorists disguised as delegates, wearing dark colored suits and talking animatedly in Arabic.
The two watch the boats sailing along the lake, surrounded by bodyguards and aides, looking suspiciously at the joggers passing by.


Avoiding talk for fear of possible eavesdroppers that could include their own people, the two leaders, upon pre-arranged signal, proceed to a nearby men’s room, and after a quick check-up of the premises by security personnel, were told that the place was clean.
Vladimir, my friend, Xi opens the conversation, how are things on your side of the curtain? Are you still keen in helping out your old comrade U.S. President Donald Trump in his re-election bid? By now, the whole planet knows that it was Russian intervention that put him in the White House four years back.
Putin does not answer, irked by Xi’s constant ribbing of his politics.


Xi laughs, and informs Putin that it was now his turn to fool around with Trump.
What do you mean, a curious Putin wanted to know.
Xi drapes an arm around Putin’s shoulder, and with a wicked smile, tells the Russian leader, “In the same way that you did in 2016, I am responsible for making him a patient at Walter Reed Medical Center to infect him with the virus. Only I have the vaccine to cure him, but he doesn’t know it yet.
He can make himself appear healthy, but in the next few weeks his condition will worsen. His taste buds will no longer work, and ironic for a pervert, the scent of a woman will forever be lost to him, even if he still smells like a rat.”


You dirty bastard, Putin naughtily puts a finger to his breast, you Chinese are something else, exporting appliances, motorbikes and cars made of tofu, looking good on the outside, but soft and empty on the inside.
Face it, Vladimir, we are good at our own craft, just like your KGB and Israel’s Mossad. Others only see what we want them to see.
The two commies hug and part ways. Wait, Putin calls back Xi, when we overrun the great United States under Trump’s weak and ignorant leadership, which half would you like to have, the South or North?
South sounds good, Xi replies, I would love to hear my people speaking Chinese with a southern drawl; how much do you think would Kentucky duck fetch?
Putin shoots back, Kentucky Chinese Duck topped with caviar would be a big hit with the first lady of the United States.
She has better taste in food than in men.


The NBA finals are on, with the Lakers taking a commanding 3-1 lead over the Heat in a best of 7 series.
A championship trophy for the Lakers would be a fitting tribute to the late Kobe Bryant, who never donned any uniform except the gold and blue, following a 10-year drought.
Never mind what my two boys say that it is all part of a script for Kobe’s sake.
Poor Fil-Am coach Spo, the Lebron James-Anthony Davis pair is proving to be unstoppable.


Hey, did you know that there are three “Pinoys” doing very well in the French Open?
It’s too bad “Ibaloy” Cariño Busa lost in his quarterfinal run against Rafa Nadal.
But “Ibaloy” lass Sofia Kenin is on the semifinals, and she and another Pinay (region and origin unknown) Iga Swiatek will be facing each other in the finals.
Kenin in Ibaloy means “wait up,” and Switek in Ibaloi means “A-daing.”
We are keeping our fingers crossed that young Alex Eala will go all the way in the girl’s division.


Back here at home, politics is still the favorite sport. It’s Alan vs Allan in the fight for Speaker of the House.
Two things that the Filipino people know. First, there is no such thing as word of honor among congressmen, and loyalty ends where their interests begin.
Parang sa sabong, llamado si Alan ngayon, pero maya-maya, kontrabarata.
I have to hand it to both Alans – they are truly their father’s sons, pero mas pino ang isa.
Ayon sa mga sabungero, traidor daw ang mestisong manok.
In any case, there is honor among gamblers and thieves, but Congress is not a cockpit where honor is thrown out for gain.