Recently, I have come to realize that self-love is the most important kind of love. You have to put yourself first, you need to take care of yourself, because this is the only life you have and the only body you own. And that for the time that you’re alive, seeing yourself in a positive light is better than putting yourself down. Life wouldn’t be fun that way.
For years, I didn’t believe that I could achieve such peace with myself. To be able to look at myself in the mirror and be happy, check photos and not critically assess myself, and be with people without thinking that there’s something wrong with me – they all seemed so impossible. I didn’t think I was capable of loving myself, as if it was such an impossible task.
However, something changed when one day, I was on my phone looking at posts on the Internet, and I realized how badly I compared myself, from friends, family, and celebrities on the Internet. I looked at them and wished that I looked like them, that I had their body, their talents, and their intelligence. I wished I was them, instead of me. I would completely disregard myself, just to be in their shoes, instead of mine. I was miserable and I knew. But that day, it dawned on me that I needed to stop.
It was a struggle to get anywhere. I didn’t know where to start at first, especially since putting myself down was the only thing I had known since I was young. I didn’t ask for help either. It felt like a battle I had to face on my own. It was, but it would have been easier for me if I did, but there I was, doing everything in my power to move forward.
Facing the mirror was a pivotal moment in my journey of self-love. It was where I had to see my reflection, and reflect on who I see myself as. The first time I decided to take a good look at myself, I was terrified. I knew I was going to point out every flaw I had and leave me in a spiral of being unworthy, that because of these insecurities I had, I wouldn’t be able to love myself.
But I willed myself to go on. These insecurities pulled me down before, but I decided that they would not anymore. I challenged myself to look in the mirror more often, and instead of pointing out something I didn’t like about myself, I chose to put my energy on something that made me appreciate how I looked. It was a slow process, but it was what made me slowly like the body that I had.
I moved forward once more. I was patient with myself in appreciating what I had to offer as a person. I gave myself a chance to breathe, to take a step back and see my own accomplishments without heavily comparing myself to others. It took a while, but it was because of this that I realized my passion for writing and giving it all to my interests and hobbies, and even motivating me to do better in school. Moments of reflecting, I found, were very helpful.
It was certainly not easy. There were moments of weakness that made me crumble with my built confidence shattered, but every time, I learned to pick myself up and try again. I wanted to love myself and I wanted to be stronger. I wanted to look at myself in the mirror and smile because I loved how I looked, I wanted to feel proud of myself in every aspect of my life and I wanted to be happy because I finally took care of myself.
Now, I can smile because I can proudly say that I love myself. It took me a long time to get here, but I’m happy that in the times I failed to be at peace with myself, I didn’t give up and tried again. I took care of myself and put myself first, and now, I’m comfortable with my own body, appreciate myself and my achievements, and no longer put myself down and constantly be in a miserable state.
Everyone’s journey is different. There are many ways we can begin to love ourselves, and this is how mine was. For anyone who is going through what I had, please know that you are not alone. You are worthy of love. You are capable. You will get through this. It may not be a smooth road, but you too, will look in the mirror and smile someday.
July 27, 2024
