June 2, 2023

REFLECTING WITH MYSELF now, of the things that happened before me, p r i o r to the onset of the COVID-19 virus, I am convinced to conclude – by Logic or Implication: that what I thought were my Unluck (or Misfortunes?) were, and to my Realization now: ‘blessings’-in-disguise, as you and I may call them.
LET’S TAKE MY Load at one University, Let X. ‘Supposed-to-be, my would-be students – at least some of them, were hinting: I was their choice. The subject is el español or Spanish – a ‘For Lang’ I’ve been teaching for years and recently – not only in said University X, but also in another, Let Y.
EXCITED BEFORE THE ‘Start of Classes’, I was texting several ‘reliables’ e.g. Coordinators, fellow Faculties, some would-be students enrolling, including a Dean(!), about the Load.
I GOT ‘VARIED’ Replies, to wit: “Sorry sir, I don’t know”; or, “Please text Madame So and So – she’s more in-position”; or, (sic) “I can’t give you no load, I have no students” (this sounds bleeding: for how can she tell me she got no students (to give me?) when my would-be-students told me aforehand they were enrolling? Or..) Is it that.. Anyway, I tried to calm myself – as I usually do, usually when frantic tendencies beset me. And
PATIENTLY, I PURSUED to inquire.. to find out. But during those stages, some of my reliables were sort-of encouraging me with ‘assurance’. I waited. Then, the ‘Enrollment Period’ was closed. So
I INQUIRED FROM some of the students enrolled, if: they saw a column in the List of Offered Subjects – with a name of Instructor – as we usually witness when we ourselves were students enrolling in the Graduate Programs? They answered the Negatives.. “no, none sir”. I felt dejected. But
HAVING FAITH IN some still ‘fair’ co-humans, I tried to pursue, digging out the real version – behind. At long last,
LO! ONE OF the Coordinators told me: “that Subject was given to an employee” (she meant: an employee of X University). Ayuh!
[I PROMPTLY THANKED the texting Coordinator for the information; but deep inside me, I was asking a lot of questions e.g. ‘but why didn’t anyone among those I earlier inquired from.. state straight (or simply): no load was to be given to me? Was the decision to give the course or subject ‘last minute’? Visiting professors like me need not be treated as judiciously?’
OTHER SPONTANEOUS QUESTIONS obtaining, but I pacified myself in-Thought: “Return yourself to normal; and be that silent, and soft-spoken man you have always been.”].

WHILE THESE THINGS were happening in X University, I was also negotiating a Load in another University (Let Y) where I am a Visiting Professor.
THE LEVELS OF Frustration were not as ‘intense’, but parallel factors came through.
EARLIER, I SIGNIFIED ‘my willingness’ again to teach that Sem, through a Letter of Intent we customarily sign and submit.
WHEN I TEXTED a Coordinator days before the Enrollment Period about my Load concern, she texted back in substance: “… we shall update you sir, later or next week xxx”
THAT ‘LATER OR next week’ came, but no Updates on the matter. During the first week of classes, I did follow-ups.. to no avail. So
I CONCLUDED BY myself: “not your Luck this time.. maybe next, shall be?”

IN SAME DURATION yet, I was inquiring also for a possibility of a Load in still another University, Let Z – outside of the City and where I taught Philosophy and Linguistics as a Visiting Professor in 2018(?). I also taught there as a Guest Professor – one subject each, in 1995; then, in 1997.
I WAS INFORMED: Yes, it was possible but could I perhaps ‘follow-up by texts or calls, during or a bit earlier than, the Enrollment Period?’ I agreed.
TEXTED AND CALLED-up I did.. but in the final analysis, my efforts came to naught; per indirect and implicative replies of those heads I was talking with in that University, Let Z.

IN SUM, MY frustrating experiences in those three Universities nl. X, Y, Z – where, prior to the start of COVID-19, I was not considered a Load to teach – as have been in the recent Past, as if suggested to me: I was suffering from the Disfavour – even perchance Discrimination, of my fellows in the Academe. But
NOW, THAT THERE are ‘Lockdowns’ – as well as Limitations to Movement, and all that, I am beginning to candidly realise and reason out: I was in fact saved from those difficulties: to travel to and from the workplaces, to risk with crowds or gatherings, to always worry about ‘Social Distancing’, and so on. Indeed,
HUMANS AS WE are, we cannot ‘see’ those designs of future events a priori, we can only realise or partially-understand them – as they are unfolding or a posteriori! Ayo, Ayo, Ino.