The story of the world in 700 words or more
In the beginning there was no light, and God said, “Let there be light,” and as soon as the words were out of His mouth, the sun came peeking out of the clouds beneath a blue sky, providing not only light, but also energy to the Earth, and vitamin A to all living creatures.
But can you imagine a dinosaur rolling on the ground and basking in the sun soon after eating all the leaves off the top of a tree as tall as he is – or was.
No way Godzilla, said to have been spawned in Japanese waters being claimed by the Chinese as their own, for all his aches and pains in the aftermath of a big fight with an alien monster, will apply Tiger Balm to his sore muscles and weary body.
Pancit yes, but nothing more. And King Kong would rather deal with the Russian mob than with the gringos who would only make a movie depicting his life – not to honor him – but to make money and more money at the tills.
And God thought, who is there to be in awe of all these magnificent work by my heavenly hand, to gaze at the stars and the moon, and know there is a Supreme Being.
I need to create a human who can think and speak. Spooning mud following a heavy downpour, God molded Adam, looking like Mel Gibson.
But after some time, Adam complains that it isn’t much fun watching the sunset with just a barking dog by his side and a purring cat on his lap.
“What you need Adam is female companionship,” and fortnight God introduces Eve to Adam, telling them to go forth and multiply, and wait for his Son to save all their offspring of succeeding generations thereafter from sin. Unhappily, not from themselves.
But contrary to Biblical lore, God didn’t take Eve from Adam’s rib, but actually snipped off part of Adam’s tongue.
How would you explain why one can’t hardly decipher what the men are talking about every time they open their mouths.
Not easy to do speaking with a split or forked tongue.
It is the same reason why the women babble and cackle at will, bantering about fashion and diamonds, if not swooning over George Clooney, or dreaming jumping into bed with the richest and sexy “Mr. Bezos Amazon,” ever so willing to part with $35 billion of his wealth just to get rid of his wife and be with another.
But back to Paradise. Even if Adam had nothing to fear from being cuckolded, with no DIs and preying Lotharios around, Eve still found time to transact business with the devil himself, disguised as a serpent, promising Eve a better Paradise, Heaven and Earth in one package.
Poor Adam, victim of an avaricious and overly ambitious spouse, and he ain’t even a lawyer or a police or military officer.
I can, as an attorney, argue that a limit of 700 words violates my right to open and free speech, but there are, well, limits like being subject to editorial policy.
But, how about President Rody, who loves to curse and use foul language beyond reason.
Is he exempt? Yes, until he leaves office. Yeah, but when?
Hey, are my 700 words up? Pass your papers, finish or unfinished, teacher says.
Humor this computer illiterate old man, who has nothing better to do than let his imagination and ballpen run wild.
Attorney Joy, my inaanak, daughter of veteran hotshot lawyer Rene Cortes and retired RTC Judge Luming Cabato, is the newly appointed Chief Prosecutor of Dasmariñas City, Cavite, bringing joy to all who love her.
Big celebration on Tuesday, March 2, at the Cortes residence, also Rene’s 78th birthday.
Have a wonderful weekend!