January 29, 2023

Unless the Chinese are bluffing or we are, the war of a thousand and one sea reefs appears imminent.
Defense Sec. Delfin Lorenzana, his sentiments echoed by Foreign Affairs Sec. Teddy Boy Locsin, in so many words, is telling the chinks to get out of Philippine waters or else.
The Sinos, eyes disappearing from their faces, retort in turn, “Or else what?” and quickly cut to the chase by chasing an ABS-CBN crew all the way to Palawan.


We are in a fearsome situation, even if our Armed Forces (but not their safety-first Commander-in-Chief) are ready to fight anybody, anytime, anywhere.
A bigger concern is that higher authority might just order the Philippine National Police to assist in the war effort, which, even before the shooting starts, will likely strike a deal with the Chinese.
We are being unkind, but given recent events, it seems our “Kafoolishan” are only good in shooting down unarmed punks or a mother pleading for the life of her son.


Will they stand fast and engage the enemy in hand-to-hand combat, or run for cover, mouthing threats and other invectives, vowing to come back and do battle another day? Pinoy talaga!
Blame the system, but let’s give them the benefit of a doubt.
When defending the motherland or fighting for what is rightfully ours, even the running scared will rally around the flag.


But who will China invade first – Taiwan or us?
Will the Pentagon or Washington dispatch its military might when the time comes, or given its domestic troubles, issue one warning after another until it is too late?
Let’s face it, the American people have grown weary and teary of their brethren being brought home in (wooden) boxes, and while giving up one’s life for the stars and stripes is deemed to be heroism at its highest level, it is not the same as rushing to the aid or coming to the rescue of a foreign land under attack by another.
Too many American lives lost in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Vietnam if only to salvage American pride.


So, it is really all up to us to repel the invaders.
But ask yourself, what would be Chongloy’s rank when the Chinese take over?
Will we be addressing Johnson Ang as general, or Boy Good Taste as Admiral Boy?
Anyway, in whichever time or era, it pays to have friends in high places.


Upon advise of her doctor, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, will not be joining her husband Prince Harry, to attend his grandfather’s wake and funeral.
But if Buckingham Palace says please, she will be on the next plane to London.
Brainy Meghan is in good company – Mata Hari, Cleopatra, Ava Gardner – poor Frank Sinatra, thumbed down by Ava in favor of runt Mickey Rooney (why am I suddenly feeling a sense of familiarity?).
Mary Magdalene wasn’t even half trying, and guess who hangs himself.


Our condolences to the Royal Family. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, husband of Elizabeth, Queen of England, and father of the next king, Prince Charles, who died peacefully in his sleep at the ripe, old age of 99.
It took a while for him to grow up – from stud and man about town to faithful husband and principal advisor to the Queen.
And so, has Prince Charles, after settling down with his old flame, Camille.


Ah, but Prince Harry, young as he is, still has a lot to learn about Machiavelli and feminine wile.


Lost in translation
Not only was I ghosted, I was also gaslighted.
Now what does love on failed relationships have to do with ghosts and gaslights?
In time, one forgets.
Like the song goes, “From now on, you are just someone that I used to love.”
Men are such heels when they leave a girl twisting in the wind, with nothing to hold on to.
The break-up wasn’t because of me, and no, there is no third party involved.
Like an accused who pleads “not guilty,” despite the sackful of evidence against him.
Fret not, my dear B. His comeuppance will come sooner than he thinks. His new girl isn’t exactly known for being “till death do us part” love partners.
Feel the loss, feel the pain. Die, you scum.


We bid farewell to old friend Alex Cham.
I see Chinese characters scribbled all over the pearly gates that say, “Welcome home, Alex.”
But condolences likewise, to our friend, fondly called Boteng by all, on the untimely demise of his mother.
Enjoy the rest of summer in the comfort of your homes.

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