Revelations of an old dame
Was it only yesterday when I turned 50, then 60, then older still? Time flies so fast. Was it only yesterday when I took an early retirement plan and left a promising career because I was too proud and I missed my family? Was it only yesterday when I chose engineering as a course because I knew very few women took engineering back then, or was it because it was the first building at the University of Santo Tomas on the España side? I should have taken architecture instead. After all, my father was an architect. But I still landed in engineering because I passed the entrance exam.
Young people can be proud and foolish sometimes. They take careers not really meant for them but for reasons they sometimes don’t understand. Only to find out later they want another career.
Was it only yesterday when I landed in a well-payingjob but decided to move to Baguio instead because my brother-in-law convinced me that Baguio was the best place for me since my one and only sister was working in Baguio? Back then, life in Baguio was so slow. Being used to the rat race life in Manila, I wanted to go back. But it was too late because I fell in love. Uy! Napana ni kupido. Tadhana.
Was it only yesterday when I found myself in quandary between two good job offers; stood at a standstill in a crossroad, not knowing where to go, but decided to choose my country, rather than my destiny? Until now, I still think what would have happened if I decided otherwise.
Was it only yesterday when I had my first child and felt it was the best gift God gave me as it was so magical? Then the second and the third? And they were all magical even if at first, we only wanted one.
Was it only yesterday that the job I chose brought me to many wonderful countries and destinations, all of them providential and gifts from God?
Was it only yesterday when my mother passed away and I felt the world dim a little and felt I lost a limb, but my only loving sister was there to be my second mom?
Was it only yesterday when I stopped schooling because I found no reason to continue and found temporary jobs instead, until my inner voice spoke to me to finish schooling because it was needed to find a more permanent and better job? It was also yesterday when my sister insisted on financing my schooling, augmented by my being a working student.
Was it only yesterday that I found myself amidst floods in boarding houses in UST? Student life was exciting and difficult then. There were Molotov cocktails thrown inside schools, frat wars, pistol fights, and protest rallies.
Was it only yesterday when I got sick and could not comprehend why? Why me? And got an answer – why not you? Each one has a cross to bear. And each will have an angel or angels.
Was it only yesterday that I found out that family, relatives, and friends were my rock support and that God was my salvation and greatest physician?
As I pass through life’s journey, I think about the book, “Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield, who wrote that we all pass through life’s quest for material things and survival. We look and look for our purposes in life, when in fact, life is a spiritual adventure. The dash of life will have many ups and downs, but the spiritual journey should end with how many people’s lives you have touched that will bring you closer to God.
In the process called life, we become so obsessed with fame, power and control, and acquiring all things in between, be it a bigger ego, money or fame, which in the end will not matter. After all, only God will matter. And we think, did we do well yesterday?