Dear Manang,
Promises are broken then trust is lost. Are we not supposed to keep commitments because this is important in all relationships, business or personal? Can people take back a commitment or promise and not expect to frustrate the other person? This happened recently when our small group agreed to pool money together to donate five sacks of rice to our barangay. We were all set, then the person who volunteered his vehicle for the pickup and delivery backed out at the last minute. Although we solved the problem two hours later, can we just casually take back our promise?
Bel of Maria Basa, Baguio City
Dear Bel,
True, it is a bummer when just one person can mess up at the last minute. Well, for the inconvenience he caused your group, he really sucks. But on the good side, feel better because he at least told you he couldn’t make it at the last minute. What if you waited two hours in vain with no word or notice that he wasn’t coming anyway? That is to me the pits. Yes, I say we can take back a promise and apologize for not being able to do it. We can take things and words back but more important, we need to own up to it. We merely say and accept that it is our fault than not saying anything at all. When we don’t own up to our faults, we let the wound rot and not heal. While, saying sorry may leave no hurt or wound.
Learn to apologize,
Manang
Dear Manang,
My world shattered when I found out my husband was having an affair. I have no friends because I am busy tending to five children. Although I am partly to blame because I chose to live in Baguio and he works in Manila. I can’t find consolation. I have prayed the rosary four times a day and made petitions at Pink Sisters to help me understand. I can’t afford to get drunk or go out because my baby is 10 months old. I have no one but myself and I am afraid that I might vent my anger on my kids. How do I process this and move on?
Cyn of Trancoville, Baguio City
Dear Cyn,
This is not a good time to be alone because you need to talk or express what you’re feeling to be able to process your anguish. This is the best time to scream and shout at your husband so you can vent. But I am afraid that if you vent on the phone he might avoid your calls altogether and you will get angrier. What do we do indeed? You have sent your prayers to the high heavens; this is a good sign that you have a spiritual means of coping. Do you know or have a pastor or parish priest? Maybe you can ask or pay someone to watch your kids as you seek consolation from a priest or pastor. You can email me at [email protected] if you want to. But most of all answer these questions first: What do you want to happen? Are you ready to forgive if he apologizes? Do you want to split up? Only when you answer these questions will you be able to move into the next stage.
Soul search,
Manang
