June 1, 2023

Dear Manang,
What do you do to avert a situation where you foresee a clash between two persons? This situation is brought about by tension created by personal rifts. The group cannot help but invite both to the event because they are needed. It is just that an untoward incident may erupt and we wouldn’t know how to handle it. Do you have any experience that may help us?
Wanda of Ambiong, La Trinidad, Benguet

Dear Wanda,
Those situations require the two individuals to iron out their differences. There is truly an expected explosion to occur at any time if the situation becomes rife. If you can have them sit down and talk or shout it out, is your only option to defuse this. Sometimes it is a misunderstanding that caused such a predicament that both did not see. They can scream and shout but let them get to the root of it all, only then can you settle that tension. I am sure both are tired of avoiding each other and want to resolve it too.
Be the solution,

Dear Manang,
There are some people who like to make a mole into a mountain and rant or mumble on the side about something they did not like or something they observed. I also have a tendency to do this but when it happens that some explanation is given, then I quickly dismiss it. But this is not always the case because not all the time is the explanation at hand. How does one temper this?
Govina, QM Subdivision, Baguio City

Dear Govina,
Aren’t we all like that? We jump to conclusions when there are none to be made. It is a natural reaction to make comments on the side and in this instance, you are already given the opportunity to douse it or spark it. I would rather put it off. Be the wet blanket when you feel it coming on. For example, “Why did she use that word, she knows that someone is going to get hurt?” The answer should be, “Maybe she doesn’t know about the latest revelation that he admitted to being gay?” The immediate dissipation of the idea could silence it.
Be the devil’s advocate,