December 8, 2023

Have you ever considered struggles as doors for greater opportunities? The question, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” left me dredging up for something I have done exceptionally. I am from a dysfunctional family and I was raised up well in God’s grace, but somehow, I felt that life could have been better. I grew up with the conviction that when I have a family of my own, I will do what it takes to keep it intact. I did!
I married at a young age, prioritized family over career, and lived the life I’ve longed for – the life that I believe was deprived from me. I heeded the advice of knowing one’s priorities. That means giving up something else you also wanted for a better option. I believed that the choices we make today define who we become in the future.
But sometimes, life sucks. As they say, it is unpredictable. It presents a lot of circumstan-ces to either prove or deny what we strongly believe. We plan and work on it to be certain of the results. Yet, we do not know what tomorrow can bring. I, who exerted all effort to keep my family, have never imagined losing it in just a blink of an eye.
Happiness fades when people no longer appreciate your value. What is the essence of living when you lose your purpose? For a while, I was ripped and I learned how to live half-alive. I tried to keep things on my own. I am certain that it shall pass, that everything will return to its place. But things didn’t turn out the way I hoped them to be.
I tried to accept that fact but I suffered and struggled – alone. No one noticed how I struggled to fight my own demons.
It was during those doldrums, when no one was beside me, that I started to notice someone. For the longest time that I was obsessed with my ideals, I wasn’t aware that I have abandoned her. She could have gone her ways and achieved her dreams, but she has chosen to stay. I saw her neglect her needs and ignore her wants – we were both happy anyway.
Now, looking at her, I can see a hapless and miserable woman. She has stood by me for more than a decade now, yet I have never noticed her. I finally came to my senses. I must get out from this dejection and start a new journey, this time, with her.
Yes, I have lost myself for a long time. Maybe it’s time to be kinder to myself, to love myself, and to focus on myself. I should be generous enough this time to give myself the break I needed to discover my capabilities and reach my potential.
So I started to change how I view life. I have to embrace the storms that come my way. I tried to focus on the good so I may see the opportunities that struggles bring. I began to do the things I have never done before, things that I thought I never can do.
People start noticing me. People try to expand their perspective and be rational, but just when I thought they would understand me better, they reacted negatively to the changes they see.
Well, how could I expect them to understand the reasons for the transformation when they never noticed the struggles behind it? People only know that you are doing okay, but they never know what you have been through.
I know that no one could lift me up from my misery except myself. I have realized that prioritizing one’s self is not selfishness. Instead, it is by knowing yourself well and by empowering yourself that you can influence others. I thank the Almighty God for allowing me to undergo such struggle – the strife that served as a means to find myself back again.