March 2, 2024

Dear Manang,
What is the difference between platonic love and a soulmate?
I have two close friends that confuse me and my feelings. They have said they love me and I like them both and don’t want to lose them in my life. Actually, we go out together very often and have and share almost the same likes in activities, food, and jokes. I feel a kind of kilig for one when I see him or am close to him. I have read that there is no purer love than platonic and that of soulmates? Who do I choose for my husband?
Alexa of Ferdinand, Baguio City

Dear Alexa,
Wow! I hope you are not a teenager who is lovelorn but a mature woman who is ready to settle down. Maturity is an element here. This simply means that you have a strong sense of self and that partner is supposed to make the self stronger and more stable. But hey! Both kinds of affection make a strong person to be with. Let’s use the dictionary meanings to help. A soul mate is “a person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond.” Platonic love is “spiritual affection.” Your kilig is the key to the soul mate.
Keep loving,
Manang

Dear Manang,
My parents do not seem to love me. They only give me what I need. They give me money, allowance, and everything I ask for. They are not home, so I can spend all my time with friends. They don’t know that I hurt myself being alone to do what I wanted. I did not find good friends but a gang who taught me to use drugs and abused me physically and sexually. My parents didn’t know that I was hurt and harmed. They are busy with business to make my life comfortable and complete but they forgot to hug me and sit beside me. They gave me medicine but they did not wipe the fever away. I want to kill myself.
Dianne of Atok, Benguet

Dear Dianne,
Please don’t die. Killing yourself will not end misery, it will cause more pain. You cured your loneliness with bad company, which is the common remedy. Kids like you seek people who share the same misery but don’t cure the wound. You know now that harm spares no one who is weak. You need to seek counseling before it’s too late. When you have professional help, you will understand the source of your pain. You can get medicine that will help you become happy if not happier. What is done is done but there is the sunshine for everyone who needs it anytime. You just need to choose to feel its warmth or stand in the rain. Your parents are waiting for you in the warmth, I am sure they love you but you don’t want it the way they know how to show it.
Seek help,
Manang