September 26, 2023

Dear Manang,
They used to call it naughty when you were young but when you get old it is called trickery. My friend is always doing tricks on us. When we were young, she would hide my notebook so I would get into trouble with the teacher. Now she tricks me and some of our classmates to lend her money or to meeting her then she cancels it. She has taken money from almost all of us and not returned it. I lent her the money I was going to pay my rent with, she said it was an emergency only to find out that she went to Manila to shop. One time she said she would meet us and treat us on her birthday. We waited for two hours but she didnot show up. It was a good thing that we were expecting the trick and only ordered what we could pay for. Is there something wrong with people like her?
Carina of Gladiola St., Baguio City

Dear Carina,
Your friend is a trickster. She thinks that she is getting away with doing hurtful things against people. Her blessings come with you, her friends who forgive her and accept her as she is. I am sure that you know that as you get older, the tricks get older too. I am sure that you know better by now that she isn’t to be trusted at all. People like them know they hurt other people with what they do, sometimes they call them sadists. These sadists find pleasure in hurting people and feel satisfaction in seeing the pain they’ve caused. They look for people who will get hurt the most from what they do and these are the masochists. Some people like getting hurt, some even physical pain. One solution is to keep away and another is to find joy and not allowing her to hurt anyone. She will have to look for other victims. Maybe she is looking for people to understand her. She has found the right people.
Be magnanimous,

Dear Manang,
I was betrayed by my closest friend and I am not about to forgive him. He spoke against me to my boss and now I have no job. I am so hurt that I almost want to kill him but of course, that’s just a feeling. Then now here I am again with the same feeling that I am being betrayed by another person. I now just withdraw and not want to mingle with people. I get depressed by all this. Who can one trust these days? I get suspicious of everyone and think of how people will do something against me. Am I being maladjusted?
Doray of Queen of Peace, Baguio City

Dear Doray,
It seems that you have a case of paranoia. You are thinking that people are against you all the time. You don’t trust people. Is it possible that in your childhood you stopped believing in anyone? Your parents or caregivers seemed to have lied to you until you stopped believing their promises. This is the only way that I can see for you to feel that everyone isn’t trustworthy. You said that your closest friend led to your job loss. Did you ask your friend? Did you defend yourself at least with your boss? Sometimes, betrayal is self-inflicted. We think and feel that something is wrong when nothing was even done. Sometimes we suspect other people took something when we actually misplaced it. You are maladjusted, sorry to say. You need help.
Seek counseling,